How to Improve Communication in your Relationship

Why Communication Hurdles

Communication is one of the most common problems in relationships. Whether communication is “the” problem or not, it is the default answer when asked “what brings you to counseling”.  It’s safe and a good conversation starter, especially to a complete stranger.  But rarely, is it the core problem.  In fact, broken communication is often the result of deeper problems, many of which, are hard to talk about. 

 Like most of everything, I learn the most about counseling from those I support in counseling.  What works, what doesn’t, what to say, what not to say, etc. Of course, I don’t have all the answers.  Nothing including experience can ever accomplish this when dealing with relationships.  However, counseling and helping people with problems in their relationship has allowed me to see themes and commonalities among us all. 

I’ve also seen common roadblocks that stand in the way of effective communication.  But effective in a way that is most effective – ways that make us feel safe, seen, and appreciated. In times of separation, effective in ways that bring synergy and understanding to our thoughts and feelings when we have grown apart. This is why Communication Hurdles was created.

The Communication Hurdles course was developed to help individuals address core issues, that impact how we communicate and what we communicate about. Until these areas are addressed, among others, no amount of strategies will work. At best, they will barely breach the surface of where our real problems exist.

What are Communication Hurdles

Safety: When I discuss safety, I am not referring to physical safety or overt signs of emotional or psychology abuse. These are foundational, and very important. However, the are other more subtle ways that we feel unsafe in our relationships.  For instance, being judged, not having a voice to express ourselves, comparisons, desirability, or the fear of isolation – equally, impact our sense of safety in a relationship.

Resentment: Resentment builds over time, and gradually deteriorates the quality of any relationship. Everyone would agree with this, but the real question is how do I become less resentful? How do I get over or undo the impact of what has been done throughout the course of our relationship? This training explores strategies to accomplish exactly this, and more.

Unheard: “I don’t feel heard”, is a common statement heard in therapy. It’s not a fade or a hot topic, it is a real issue that impacts individuals when they don’t feel seen by their partner.  It is important that you understand what it means and how you should respond if this exist in your relationship. 

Appreciation:  Being appreciated and “feeling” appreciated are two separate things. Most individuals will express that they appreciate their spouse, or at least, certain aspects.  However, how they express it (if they do) does not always resonate with their partner in a relationship.  If appreciation is lacking, then communication is suffering. This training shows you how to express appreciation in ways that are actually meaningful and will help you understand the connection between appreciation and communication.  

Growing Apart: It’s a sad reality, but a reality, nonetheless. Sometimes we grow apart.  When we are not intentional about growing together, the default is that we will grow apart.  It makes sense that this impacts communication in relationships, but what to do about is more of a novelty.  If you believe you have grown apart from your spouse, or fear growing apart, this training will help you bridge the gap. 

What Makes Communication Hurdles Different

It’s one thing for me to say certain things, I am a therapist. But when real-life couples, unscripted, share their experience about each communication hurdle – it provides confirmation, validation, and normalizes the experience of what many experience in their relationship. 

In addition to training content, and curriculum material, this training incorporates live interviews with couples. You can watch samples of these interviews on my YouTube channel. Also, don’t forget to subscribe.  The training includes well over 2 hours of content material, which is designed to walk you through strategies on how to improve communication in your relationship. 

Invest in the growth of your relationship and begin the process of overcoming communication hurdles.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the Untherapeutic Podcast on Apple Music , Spotify, iHeart or your  favorite streaming service.