Not What. Not How. BUT WHY
Why You Said it
Matters Most…
We’re all guilty. Tensions are high, emotions are swelling up, and before you know it – words fire out. It was the heat of the moment, and at the time, it felt okay. But after the storm settled, and you realized that you may have overreacted, what’s next is all too common.
“Hey, I’m sorry”.
“I didn’t mean what I said”.
It is a routine that many of us find impossible to escape. Especially if you are prone to react quicker than others. Regardless if this is you or not, out of anger, we have all said things that we later regretted. However, despite our sincere apology and attempts to improve over time, most of us miss out on this golden opportunity.
Here is Why??
If we stop at what you said, then an apology will suffice. If we stop at how you said it, then strategies on communication will help. But real progress only occurs when we address “Why” you said it.
Although, the typical response when the question, “but why” arises is simple… I was angry. It is an easy escape that allows us to be dismissive, or avoid having a deeper conversation. Which is truly unfortunate. For one, words don’t come from thin air, they come from our heart. Secondly, anger can give us the courage to say things that we truly mean, but sometimes avoid because of fear or judgement. Remember, Turbulent Conversations can be fertile ground for Truthful Conversations.
That’s why, the “Why” behind what you say is important.
So next time you say something “You didn’t mean” consider how it may help your relationship first.
It Addresses Underlying Issues. Knowing the “why” behind what you said, allows for more meaningful conversations about what’s Really concerning you.
It Limits Reoccurring Arguments. When you address the “why”, you attack the root. Most arguments stem from the same place. When you target the core of your concern, you limit reoccurring arguments.
It Reduces Stress. The buildup of unaddressed issues creates added stress in a relationship. When you call a truce, but walk away defeated, your relationship deteriorates, and your emotional health suffers.
It Improves Communication. You communicate better when you can articulate Exactly what is bothering you. Your pain will persist in a relationship, if you circle around problems that are not the real issue. Communicating with precision helps reduce this.
For Real help with improving your communication, schedule today at nichardy.com