Three Reasons Your Spouse Doesn't Support Your Vision

Three Questions You should Always Ask

Not everyone will be sold on your vision. No, it’s not because they are against you; but they may not believe in your ideas in the way that you do. Frustrating as it may be, this is not always a bad thing. Especially, if you use this time for self-reflection. Yet for most of us, that’s not the case. When we believe someone is not on our side, we typically respond in one of three ways:  

1)    Move forward without their support, and work relentlessly to prove them wrong, 

2)    Give into their doubts and secretly harbor resentment, 

3)    Complain about their lack of support and blame them for any negative outcomes. 

In either case, each of these can create major problems in your relationship.  So, if you are having difficulty gaining support for an idea, a new initiative, or anything for that matter, this is what you should consider first. 

Three Ways to Get Your Spouse to Support You. 

Character.  Before someone believes in what you can produce, they must believe in you as a person. Your skills, education, and abilities will never override your character. Furthermore, the motives behind your decisions, can be just as important as the outcomes of your decisions. But having the right motives is not the same as telling the truth. We don’t have to lie, in order to have the wrong motives. 

We all make mistakes. However, when our mistakes are made with pure intentions, we don’t lose the belief of others. Conversely, when our motives are in question, so are the outcomes of our decisions, positive or negative.  

Collaboration.  It’s hard to buy into a vision you had no part in creating. When others are impacted by your decisions, you should always include them in the decision-making process.  Now, it’s unrealistic to assume that others will agree with you 100%. However, involving them on the front-end, conveys their importance. Collaboration also allows us to catch what we can’t see. Missed blind spots can cost long-term. 

Consistency.  We shouldn’t be judged by our past, but for those who were affected by our past, it’s impossible for them to separate it from our future. Hence, why consistency is vitally important.  Your current habits give others confidence in the person you are becoming.  If someone is questioning your vision, you win them over with consistency. This builds trust incrementally, and allows our actions to speak for themselves. 

Living with someone who doesn’t believe in you, can make living out dreams difficult. Yet instead of villainizing them for questioning your vision, use this as an opportunity to reflect on these three areas. If you are still having problems, counseling may be the answer. Going to counseling can help your relationship reach new heights and can provide you with insights to grow as an individual. 

 Schedule your first counseling appointment online today nichardy.com. 

For more on relationships, listen to the Untherapeutic Podcast with Dr. Nic Hardy. Untherapeutic is available on all major streaming platforms.